500 days of Summer
You’re not even mine, but
- It still bothers me when other people flirt with you.
- It still bothers me when other people call you names.
- It still bothers me when you get so much attention.
- It still bothers me when you talk to other people that like you.
- It still bothers me when you hang out with people that like you.
- It still bothers me when you don’t consider that these things bother me.
I hate this feeling. Like I’m here, but I’m not. Like someone cares. But they don’t. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air.
“Maybe that’s why a broken machine always makes me a little sad, because it isn’t able to do what it was meant to do…
Maybe it’s the same with people. If you lose your purpose… it’s like you’re broken.”
— Hugo Cabret (Hugo).
Played with Fire
You should’ve know better than to play with fire.
So many things in my mind right now…
None of which concerns homework… Hahaha…
So TB 29 Sentosa outing tmr which will probably take up the whole day?
Seems legit… Unless I decide to be some spoilspot and leave early.
On the bright side, things seems to be getting better in class.
I’m much closer to them and yeah, kinda got accepted into the clique
with ease due to my humorous nature :)
So that’s something nice? I’ve got a new clique, the class clique.
However, my mind is currently being occupied by 2 ppl now.
Seeing HM’s blogspot just reaffirms a lot about those wildguesses.
That I was never the lead male character in the play,
that she has fallen for someone else, that she is falling for someone else.
And that the someone else will never be me.
Too lazy to find out who the guy/guys is/are.
Cuz I’m that ever nice and funny guy every girl like to have in their friendzone closet.
Maybe I should change? Should I be a man of few words?
Does that brings out charm? I’m sick of this.
Secondly, Eu. Yes you. Your tweets…
What the fuck do they mean?!
Cuz I’m sick and tired of deciphering your thoughts. If any.
Oh yes, had a great long whatsapp convo with yifei and
I achieved self-enlightenment in the process.
I finally get why I’m feeling hat I’m feeling!
I want to ruin my life in your face to make you regret so badly
I want to do things that will make you feel guilty for life.
I want you to feel tormented, the pain that I felt from you.
Maybe that’s why I want you back?
Perhaps not because I love you but rather I’d love to break you up.
To break up with you so that you know how that feels.
I know it may sounds childish but it’s the sadistic human nature.
And this may sound plain sore but I just don’t get it.
What does that scrawny looking tanned faggot has that I don’t?
That can make you go head over heels for him after all these while.
FUCK!
I’m FUCKING PISSED.
The thought of it just raged me…
FUCK THIS SHIT.
Tired….
Back to blogging cuz it’s the only perfect avenue to escape.
Escape from this horrible reality…
That feeling when you have to self-imposed a restriction
on your views on fb and twitter -
cuz that person you’re referring to is following you…
So, I’ve been down for the past 2days with headache and stomachache.
The pain is so horrible, so unbearable…
I could barely concentrate on my studies much less achieve much.
But it’s nothing compared to having your heart broken.
Wasted time, wasted sorrow… I’m tried.
Physically and emotionally drained in week 6 of school…
I wonder how long I can sustain myself… Or will I?
Malvick, you’re weak. I despise you. I hate you.
You’re such a disappointment to your parents…
You can’t prove shit about yourself to others.
All you could do is run away, escape to the Prototype world.
Relieve the pain, yes. Maybe… Just maybe…
I should bury myself in studies, in mugging.
That’d be a much more beneficial means.
Told myself I’d make you regret by owning you in studies.
But I can barely pick myself up from the broken pieces you’ve left.
I hate you. For being so selfish.
Actually, it’s easy to forget you… But I just don’t want to.
I want to remember what you left me with.
You fucking toyed with my feelings before leaving me for dead.
Urgh… My head is killing with each word typed…
No, it isn’t your fault… It never will. It was me all along.
A one-sided thing, you just merely played along.
Thought I wouldn’t be emotionally attached and played it all cool.
It’s me, I should’ve guard my heart. Why do I never learn?
Seeing all the other couples leading their happy lives make me
can’t help but to wonder when will it be my turn?
When will anybody be mine? Is my character that foul?
Meanwhile… I shall go Prototype for a while…
Screw studying…
